Happiness isn’t about getting what you want all the time. It’s about loving what you have and being grateful for it.”

Happiness is what everyone wants to have at the peak of his or her life. Being happy with your career, family, financial status, among other things. Even when we are younger, we want to be in a perfect relationship, doing well in school, at the top of the world. What people don’t realize is that when things don’t go your way, it’s part of life. You shouldn’t just stop and not keep going because you are missing what’s around you in the moment.

I want to focus on romance for this but this quote can relate towards any other life experience. A perfect relationship isn’t about having no flaws or thinking that you have no flaws in it. If you were to have that mindset, the moment where something seems to be out of place, all hell will break loose. You can’t be in a relationship having the mindset that you need to be happy and that everything needs to work out for you. Yes, it’s important for you to be happy but what about your partner? If your partner isn’t happy then you might as well as throw away the relationship because that defies the purpose. Happiness in a relationship is the feeling of being loved and thinking that nothing can pull each partner apart. Each party will have his or her flaws and that’s part of what makes happiness in a relationship. You might not agree with your partner for many things but would you rather lose that person who might you feel whole for the thought that you are next to “perfection?” What I’m trying to say is that there’s many ways to make someone happy and in a relationship, teens, adults or even elders, the little things can really influence happiness to another level. Buying her flowers after her first day of university (real example of a friend of mine) or surprising him with his favourite supper after a hard day at work or even telling them how amazing they look on a ordinary day, it’s the little things that count. Relationship, friendships or whatever it is, there’s no such thing as perfection but doing the little things will make you feel as if there’s a feeling of perfection of your happiness that you don’t wanna lose.

When do you know if you’ve reached a point where that spark is gone in your relationship? When do you know when it’s time to take that match and light the fire? These are answers we wished we had and sadly, there’s no concrete answer that fits everyone. Relationships and friendships come with its perks and conflicts. No one relationship is perfect, no matter the type. Back to the spark though. Here’s a way to know if it’s there:

Imagine you are on a beach after a long day at work. You aren’t the type of person to just call it a day, you need a purpose to do something to feel accomplished. You turn to each side and see sand and water. The only way you can go is straight into the ocean and be lost forever. Or you can do this: build a castle. A high one. The highest that you can think of and climb it. Climb so high where you are at the level of the clouds and you can see everything beneath you. You know what you just did? You just overcame your fear of heights by doing so. You might be questioning yourself, “I never mentioned a fear of heights.” That’s where you come into this. We have roadblocks in our life where we don’t know when it will come, and it will hit you hard. A loss of a close friend, a death of a family member, a bad breakup, a bad semester in school, multiple attempts for a new job with no success, the list goes on forever. You might not be affected as bad towards these things as someone else, but you know what? Everyone has to go through that truck eventually in their life. I’m going through that truck as I’m writing this. You might have been hit with a similar truck a year ago or will about to get it hit by it next month. What I’m trying to say is that in romance, that truck will occur too for the most part. There will be a time where you might think the next person will be the one and then life will hit you when you realize you are wrong. That spark though is something you can’t describe though. You won’t see that truck because of the spark in front of it. But you know what? Sometimes, there is no truck behind that spark and if you are that lucky, should never let it go.

It’s the little things that might ignite that spark. Him asking you about your day because he genuinely cares about you, her always supporting you even though you think you’ve hit rock bottom, the list goes on and on. You might not see it at first because you are oblivious to it and it’s okay. Or maybe you do see it and you are scared because of that truck from your past. You will never know if there is a truck unless you take the chance. I always believed in the saying, “You will live forever or die trying.” Either way, it’s not a lose-lose because you either learn or you get what you deserved in the end: happiness. Next time you think that spark is there, don’t be scared to take the chance. Yes, it might be hard because you are worried and that’s okay. But communicate with your partner because maybe that will ease the pain. A lot can help with that but in the end, it’s you that going to grow into making the decision that only you want to make.