This post is coming following a conversation with someone who came to be about a lack of communication between her and her boyfriend. And it’s not the first time someone has come to be about a lack of effort from their partner and them feeling unwanted in the relationship, no matter how much they try to exit. What I want to explain in this post is what I think about mistreatment in a relationship and how to overcome it in a general scenario (even though it can vary by situation).

Relationships will always have its ups and downs, that is obvious. There are going to be days where your significant other will make you feel like you are the happiest person alive and sometimes after a fight you might question if the relationship is even worth it. Those thoughts are very normal because at the end of the day, will all those happy moments and many setbacks, those are what’s going to grow the relationship and each partner as an individual. With that being said, there is a fine line between a fight/argument and constant mistreatment which unfortunately occurs in many relationships. Yes, you might feel sometimes your partner doesn’t notice the little things you might have changed like a new hairstyle or you achieving your goal of losing 10Ibs in the past month. People have emotions and sometimes they might feel mistreated for those specific things however I’m referring those individuals who are constantly being stomped on by their partner, giving them no freedom to live. Sadly, that is pretty common in may relationships. Like I tell everyone that might be going through the scenario I’m describing, no one ever deserves to go through a relationship where they fell as if they are a burden or a punching bag for someone else’s frustration. Not only it is unhealthy for you, it can impact you in future relationship, let alone your future life.

My advice for people that are in situation like that? Leave as soon as possible. No one deserves to be treated by hate every time they try to make an effort towards the relationship. Unfortunately, some relationships are based on one-sided relationships and sometimes things are much more complicated than how it looks. However, for those who have the ability to escape such horror, one should do. Now, when it comes to someone feelings as if their partner isn’t putting the same effort into the relationship, that’s a completely different issue. You might know your partner like the back of a book but you are not in their head to see what they are thinking about. Sometimes, they might be complementing you, or sending dry messages or not even responding at all. Yes, in some relationships, people might think that’s alright to treat someone like that but sometimes, there’s more to it than black and white. Before jumping to conclusion, you should always ask your partner about their personal life or if there’s anything that’a making them act unusual than how they normally do. I’ve seen people learn that their partner thinks that how they treat them is justified and won’t change their ways and as a result, leave the relationship to better themselves. I’ve also seen many situations where a simple talk is needed to realize there is more to your partner’s life that’s affecting and sometimes, you are the pillow to their problems and with that talk, they can fix their actions towards you.

In all, this post is a bit all over the place but the messages I want readers to understand is this; mistreatment is common is all relationships and in different stages. One-sided relationships that involves violence towards an individual is for sure unacceptable and the abused should always find a way to free themselves for their own health. In those situations where you might just feel you are putting more effort than your partner, maybe you are. It happens that you value the relationship more and take it seriously. It also happens that your partner is going through stuff and they might need you more as support than a conflict starter. In all, always use communication with your partner because in the end, it can really solve many issues that you might not think are possible.