I would by lying if I had said I’ve never used the “scale” to describe someone’s appearance or said that someone is “out of my league.” In fact, I bet everyone, in the younger generation especially, has used one, if not, both of these categorical methods of measuring people. It happens, unfortunately, especially in our society and some might not take it as serious as others but it’s still something that I feel has an impact on a lot of people, on both sides of the spectrum honestly.

The League. I don’t know who invented this “league” or concept. It just been something that people use to differentiable their opinion of an individual in comparison to another individual or a population. Imagine that the person that first imagined this “league” had a completely different concept of it in comparison to how it is today? Pretty funny if you ask me. This league, primarily used by guys and girls who either believe that there is a potential partner they feel they aren’t good enough or the reverse, being too good for someone. I get it, looks play a part in choosing a partner. If someone said otherwise, they would be lying because physical attraction is something needed in a relationship. But what I’ve learnt is that if you think someone is that good looking and you like that person, I don’t see why you shouldn’t attempt anything because you don’t think you in comparison are in that level of looks. You are judging yourself so hard but what happens if that same person or someone in that same level as your crush thinks you are one of a kind? People have different perspectives on looks and just because you don’t feel as if you don’t believe in yourself, someone doesn’t believe you are a good fit for them. And for those who believe they’re too good for some people, you can think like that but I personally believe it isn’t the right way of thinking when it comes to romance. I’m not saying to go for someone who you think will bring you down as a person. What I’m saying is just because that guy doesn’t have the “perfect life” or that girl isn’t the “popular cheerleader” doesn’t mean you should automatically throw them aside because they don’t have the same lifestyle as you. In my opinion, that’s just shitty to do.There’s more to a person than being an equivalent to you because in reality, no-one is another copy of you, not even your identical twin (you get what I mean, not genetically).

“What do you rate her?” “Out of 10, how hot is he?” Middle school to high school to university, heck even during our career job at the age of 35, we hear this. This scale is primarily used to categorize looks but it has it way to categorize personality to sexual experience to practically anything. It’s not that I think this is completely a bad thing because I believe we as human have the right to have preferences of what or who we are attracted to, however, I think the way it’s used is kinda wrong, well for some cases. Again, there are those who believe they are at the bottom of the scale and they can’t get someone that “higher than them” and there are those who think they are too good for most so they believe “just because I’m a 9, I can’t date someone who is a 7.” Again, I think using the scale as a way to power yourself over another individual is wrong. There’s always the option to be subjective towards looks, however, if you aren’t attractive to someone, just say so. There’s no need to say they are level below you because of so and so reasons.

To conclude, yes, these concepts are used by many in our society and I believe that in some instances, they are used wrong. By both sides too. By those who don’t believe that they are good enough because you know what? You are. Just because you feel a certain way about yourself and believe me, it’s hard sometimes to go against your own self-opinion but you know what? What if you downing yourself leads to a potential partner walking away from you because they see the potential and awesome person that you couldn’t see in yourself. Your thoughts about yourself translates into your attitude which can negatively affect the relationship with someone. I think that there are sometimes an image of a couple you might not think would fit together but there’s a lot more to a relationship that what you see in them. As long as the partners involve can communicate and have trust and want to be with each other, why should a league or scale stop them. I know this was a long read but if there’s one thing I want you to keep in your mind is this: You go for who you want to go for. There’s a cute guy you like and want to tell your life story to even thought he has a different lifestyle than you? If he lets you, then do it. There’s a cute girl that you want to go out for lunch with and she is down then you take her. And it works both ways like this. You think you are too good for someone, well you’re not (in this instance). You have a good relationship with your parents and the girl you like has no communication with her mom and is not the happiest all the time. You tell her your feelings about her and the lifestyles you both live in shouldn’t play a factor towards how you feel emotionally towards her. The cute boy you’ve always liked has had a rough high school experience while you were the star cheerleader. Don’t let that stop you from wanting to know him because others will judge you. You go for who you feel like would help you grow as a person and like for who they are, that’s how I feel things should be.