When do you know if you’ve reached a point where that spark is gone in your relationship? When do you know when it’s time to take that match and light the fire? These are answers we wished we had and sadly, there’s no concrete answer that fits everyone. Relationships and friendships come with its perks and conflicts. No one relationship is perfect, no matter the type. Back to the spark though. Here’s a way to know if it’s there:

Imagine you are on a beach after a long day at work. You aren’t the type of person to just call it a day, you need a purpose to do something to feel accomplished. You turn to each side and see sand and water. The only way you can go is straight into the ocean and be lost forever. Or you can do this: build a castle. A high one. The highest that you can think of and climb it. Climb so high where you are at the level of the clouds and you can see everything beneath you. You know what you just did? You just overcame your fear of heights by doing so. You might be questioning yourself, “I never mentioned a fear of heights.” That’s where you come into this. We have roadblocks in our life where we don’t know when it will come, and it will hit you hard. A loss of a close friend, a death of a family member, a bad breakup, a bad semester in school, multiple attempts for a new job with no success, the list goes on forever. You might not be affected as bad towards these things as someone else, but you know what? Everyone has to go through that truck eventually in their life. I’m going through that truck as I’m writing this. You might have been hit with a similar truck a year ago or will about to get it hit by it next month. What I’m trying to say is that in romance, that truck will occur too for the most part. There will be a time where you might think the next person will be the one and then life will hit you when you realize you are wrong. That spark though is something you can’t describe though. You won’t see that truck because of the spark in front of it. But you know what? Sometimes, there is no truck behind that spark and if you are that lucky, should never let it go.

It’s the little things that might ignite that spark. Him asking you about your day because he genuinely cares about you, her always supporting you even though you think you’ve hit rock bottom, the list goes on and on. You might not see it at first because you are oblivious to it and it’s okay. Or maybe you do see it and you are scared because of that truck from your past. You will never know if there is a truck unless you take the chance. I always believed in the saying, “You will live forever or die trying.” Either way, it’s not a lose-lose because you either learn or you get what you deserved in the end: happiness. Next time you think that spark is there, don’t be scared to take the chance. Yes, it might be hard because you are worried and that’s okay. But communicate with your partner because maybe that will ease the pain. A lot can help with that but in the end, it’s you that going to grow into making the decision that only you want to make.

The infamous “Friend-zone” is almost as equivalent to death when looking in the romance world. It’s a place where you don’t want to be put in, especially when you have other intentions. At a young age, teenagers are exposed to this hideous place where is placed in it, it’s when you become the laughing stock of your group. What I’ve learned throughout the years is that no matter how bad the friend-zone is, it’s honestly a lesson learned in life for someone in attempt to find someone they want to be with.

Middle School. High School. College. University. The times where someone will have 90% of their social life between the ages of 12-25. Girls will meet guys and guys will meet girls. A guy will be attracted to many people and same with a girl. Most likely, two people start talking and maybe interests will grow for at least one party. At that point, you might question, “What should I do about this?” You can be either the one who wants a more concrete relationship like possibly dating or just a hook-up or maybe you want to be the one who just wants to be friends. Or maybe, you want to be the one who doesn’t want to do anything and just let time fly. The possibilities vary and honestly, different outcomes are in question. What people assume though is that once you have feelings for someone and the same feelings aren’t reciprocated, you are at an all-time low. The thing is, for the most part, it’s not intentional for that to happen. The issue is that a lot of the times, someone won’t reveal his or her intentions at the appropriate time. Actually, let me clarify that. Normally, both parties don’t reveal his or her intentions to their respective partner. As a result, if they don’t match, the one who has higher expectations is seen as the one at a bigger fault. If the intentions were said before the relationship escalated, maybe no one would get hurt in the end. Or even if they were said at the early stage, someone would end up discouraged. That’s life and you can’t control someone’s actions, especially when it comes to their feelings romantically. The thing is if you know that the person you are talking to has bigger intentions than you and are leading them on, that’s just wrong. Yes, there are situations where you don’t know his or her intentions but some people sadly will play the person like a puppet so that they have something to talk about or to feel entitled since they have someone chasing them. First, if they reveal their feelings and you just play along even though you know you don’t have feelings, just be straight up and tell him or her. Don’t play along because in the end, nothing good comes out of it. If you don’t know your intentions however, let them know. Because they might be thinking for you and that ins’t always the best case scenario either. The friend-zone is honestly a hard topic to write about because I don’t want to force things upon people but I do believe in some situations, there is white and black and people are honestly not treated for what they are putting out as product. In contrary, people also need to understand boundaries and how to take “no” as an answer. Maybe that can be a future topic. Who knows? But to end this blog, maybe try to find what you want and once you have that, let the other party aware because who honestly wants to see the other person hurt in the end?

On the first date, the thought about who’s going to end up paying may pop up. As time has shown, it has been proven that men typically pay for the dates. Tipically. Doesn’t have to be that way though. If your girlfriend feels like spoiling you, let her. She’s doing it for a reason as she cares about you. Who’s the one that is suppose to hide emotions and show no fear? Women are typically the ones who show more emotions than men. Typically. What men don’t realize is that they are human too. Crying on a women’s shoulders won’t hurt. If your boyfriend is showing emotion based on any situation, comfort him as he would to you. In different types of relationships, the generic gender roles may be one way for one couple but the complete opposite for another. Yes, everyone has their own preferences but you shouldn’t jump on the boat to judge someone because they don’t support the same ideas as you. This may be a short blog however, being you shouldn’t be based on society’s expectations, rather by your own self.

In today’s world, technology has become our main resource towards anything we do. What also is being used from the advancement of technology is the idea of dating; online dating to be exact. Ten or even fifteen years ago, the thought of online dating being used over physical interactions would be absurd however, time as changed. Dating apps are becoming more popular as time goes on and especially for young adults, it’s the prime of their social life. Are online dating apps such as Tinder, Hinge or even Bumble worth the hype? Here’s my opinion on that.

Dating apps like Tinder or Number has its pros and cons. Having been on these applications in the past, I have seen it work for both guys and girls however, it depends on what you want. The whole point of these apps is to make money for these companies. Finding your dream partner is what someone would hope for or finding someone to have casual hook-ups with can be the usefulness of another individual. What makes these apps difficult for others is the fact that for the most part, people are judge by their appearance. It’s not the fault of the person swiping left or right on you for judging how you look but that’s how society works. When you walking around and see an individual, the first thing you see is their physical traits. Maybe those blue eyes and nice smile, you see someone that catches your eyes. It can even be the opposite as well. Someone with hair colour that you aren’t a fan of or you aren’t just attracted to their physical shape, that’s what you see first. If you say that you don’t judge someone by their appearance, that’s a lie. To elaborate, like myself, many people have relationships and choose certain partner for the personalities or interest their partner has. That can’t be avoided as you want someone that you like for them being them. But to say you are attracted to only their interest or personality is straight bogus. You can choose someone’s personality over their appearance or vice versa however, both have a say on how you judge that person. Why I mention this in the topic of online dating? Because with most dating apps, physical appearance weights more towards a swipe for an individual in comparison to their bio, if they have one. If you don’t think you are as attractive as other but you find if someone gets to know you they won’t regret it, it might be hard using apps like Tinder because appearance is played to a larger role than your personality. People like casual hookups for the appearances and emotions that they feel in the moment with the other person which is a plus when using these apps but in all honesty, it depends what you are using the apps for.